Discover Challenge: Here and Now

It’s 11:27 am, GMT +8 MNL Time on a cloudy-with-a-chance-of-raining Wednesday.

I was browsing through my messages and deleting most of them until I came across the message thread between me and my grandmother.

Last message was Nov 2012. That was when she died.

I was mostly smiling at her messages, because this was  the year where data was rising and I got my first ever smartphone. She would send me messages as I go to class and I would ask her what’s for dinner. Then I suddenly missed her cooking and everything about her.

Before, I would still wonder how different it would be if she was still around. Fast forward to now, I couldn’t bring myself to that idea anymore.

I am doing better than before. Ofcourse, there are still certain aspects where I need to improve on but comparing the person I was when she passed away and the person I am now, they’re totally different people.

The Joanna before drags herself out of bed in the morning and fights the urge to just shut down. My motivation was solely dependent on the idea that my grandmother did not die to ruin me and she will worry if I let my life go to hiatus.

For a time it kept me going but I have come to realise that motivation from oneself is a better reason to keep going.

Here and now is not perfect, but I am doing okay, well even.

via Discover Challenge: Here and Now

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. MJ Cobra says:

    This short post is packed with endearing emotions and has a very meaningful message at the end. You yourself go on a journey and take readers right along with you. Very enjoyable and thoughtful.

    I’m sure that when your grandmother was alive, she was very proud of you and loved you. I’m sure she would have been just as proud or more when you found your inner strength to live life fueled by your own drive.

    Best of luck to you in all that comes your way. ❤

    1. Joanna L. says:

      Thank you MJ ❤ *virtual hugs*

      1. MJ Cobra says:

        ~virtual hug~ 🙂

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